Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Expansion & Mayhem

Too long between posts, I know. Truth is it was one of those times when one day blends into the next and I felt I had nothing much to say (or risk blogging endlessly about being pregnant, which I did not want to do), so I have just been coasting along.

That is until I realized with the dramatic and incredible footage of hurricane Katrina, smaller but important news items could get lost in the shuffle. I simply cannot let that happen.

First, in personal news, I had a few hours of Braxton-Hicks contractions. Scared the last bejeeber out of me, as it was just too soon (30 weeks). Turned out to be dehydration. Say it with me now - pregnancy + summer = bleahhh! All seems well now and we go for an ultrasound Friday to get a peek in there. I also noticed that at some point I moved from the approachable-run-up-and-touch-the-preggy-belly stage to the Scary Pregnant Lady stage. People give me the double raised eyebrows and leap out of my way. Tonight at Safeway, one woman who was at least three feet away jerked her cart back and apologized to me. For what? Then a long line of people parted with not a word from me to let me pass through on my way to the ice cream isle. Listening carefully, you could almost hear their thoughts, "For the love of G-d, step aside before that large waddler runs us all down! She is heading for the ice cream people! STEP ASIDE!!"

Next, in regional animal news, this story was on today:

Why do the best stories never have the all-important video footage? Admittedly, if any city is going to have an ostrich running around the toll booths during rush hour traffic, I think San Fransisco is the city most likely to appreciate the Fellini-esque quality.

Next up, by way of Dave Barry's blog:

If nothing else, read the list at the end of the article. Hard to believe these folks have not long since changed their town names, then again no one not from Long Island believes us when we say we lived near Hicksville, USA.

Last up, I am proud to say I have not seen or heard this story anywhere else but one news show on MSNBC. It was very hard to even find a link to it, and my brother David wins the Web Reference Obscura Award for this. The story demonstrates two of my basic philosophies -
1. That real news makes "the news" less and less often
2. That many people really need to consult me before they act or speak. This will be the subject of its own blog post, but I could save the whole world from so many instances of bad writing, poor judgement, and general stupidity - and I am willing to do so at no charge because the world can be a better place without moments like this:

The key point here is that the Archbishop of Portland (from 1994) and lawyers for the Church have argued against paying child support to a woman the not-so-good bishop impregnated, saying that she should have used birth control. Ooh yeah, I'll have a big steaming cup of hypocrisy with that order, please. Not being Catholic, I may not have all the facts, but isn't the Church rabidly against birth control? And if they are suddenly in favor of it, what about the Archbishop's failure to use it? If they had bothered to ask me, I could have suggested something more along the Church party line, such as, "Extramarital sex is a sin and we can not support it in any way" or "Once the Archbishop had sex with this woman, in effect he was a lapsed Catholic and no longer operating under Church authority or responsibility." There are probably 5 to 10 better arguments I can come up with off the top of my head and again, I am not even Catholic. What was the Church thinking? At the very least, they are fools if they don't fire that lawyer right away. I am so proud to join the legions of bloggers who break important news stories first on their blogs. Remember, you heard it here first!

And lastly, just to leave you with something to do until I post again, please enjoy this fun collection of real road and business signs. You can bet, they did not ask me first either, but in this case it turned out very well indeed.


At August 31, 2005 at 8:59 AM, Blogger Robin said...

Glad to see a post from you. I was getting worried. Thirty weeks already? Time sure flies..... when it's not MY pregnancy!

I remember getting looks from people when I was pregnant but that's cuz I was in labor while Rich and I were having dinner at Friendly's. My midwife asked if we could check in to the hospital an hour later because it was so busy and I said sure! We went down the street to have dinner. I took a bite of my sandwich,had a french fry and then held on to the table for dear life during my contraction. When it passed, I took a sip of rootbeer,had another bite of sandwich and another Rich said all eyes were on me. Oh well.

As for the rude English towns....that language is whacko anyways. When I lived in Israel I lived with a group of English people. I nearly wet my pants when I heard one guy say,"That was brilliant. I just had me a fag." If you mean CIGARETTE then say CIGARETTE!!! I thought he had sexually abused a gay person.

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