Friday, March 04, 2005

Today's Million Dollar Idea

Every day has a million dollar idea.

Today's idea came out of today's adventure in waiting for a no-show to see an apartment while watching The Apprentice with my brother. This episode's challenge broke the contestants into teams that each had to build a miniture golf course. They had a budget and were going to be judged by how much money they brought in.

Team #1 went with a safari theme, which was really cute. They had the golf course set up under a big tent with potted trees and big stuffed animals. It was cozy without being too cutesy and the kids seemed to like it.

Team #2 went with the ever nightmarish clown theme. The dippy woman in charge, dubbed by me as 'Great Leader,' could not lead and refused to take responsibility for her lack of leadership. One man on her team, who I refer to as Klassy the Klown, was visibly chewing tobacco while in clown garb and taking tickets from the little tykes. Another man was completely uncooperative, refusing to put on the theme clown outfit and promote the golf course. If it were my team, I would have made it clear to Mr. No that his choices are teamwork or hit the pavement. Great Leader just whined at him.

I don't watch the show, but it seemed some history between her and the other contestants was also coming back to bite her in her self-described "beautiful" rump. (Everything that went wrong, Great Leader blamed on being beautiful and thereby not getting any respect. She did this in all 3 conversations on the show. Note to G. L. - There are beautiful women in this world who are also respected for their minds and what they can accomplish. You will never be one of these women until you a) Can manage a conversation in which you never utter the phrase, "But I'm so beautiful..." and b) Stop whining, take responsibility, and roll up your sleeves and do the work.)

No surprise, but Team #1 won. So Team #2 was going to have The Donald fire somebody. My brother asked me, "Which guy would you fire?"

"Well," I considered, "the leader sucked or maybe Mr. No. Now that guy is just plain obnoxious! Sure, I'd like to fire the idiot who didn't stop chewing tobacco even when dressed as a clown & dealing with little kids. But his problem can be fixed. He could go on the patch or something. The other guy is screwed. There's no patch for obnoxiousness."

And there it is.

Today's million dollar idea, The Obnoxiousness Patch, perhaps marketed as Obnoxipatch TM. I can see people buying them by the caseload, slapping them on the backs of people's necks and arms every single day. No one would buy them for themselves - rarely do the truly obnoxious regard themselves as anything other than easygoing, carefree folk. No, these patches would be for the sufferers to slap the patch upon others. I'm envisioning something along the lines of a Xanax-THC-theobromine time-release cocktail. It would sell like frozen milkyways on a hot summer beach. Normally, I might think twice before shoving such a valuable concept out into the bright lights of public scrutiny, but it would be worth it if some drug company picked this up and ran with it. It's a gimme, you guys, I just want a few cases to do with as I wish.

Now, honestly, who would you have slapped an Obnoxipatch TM on today?


At March 4, 2005 at 9:58 PM, Blogger Pratt said...

great idea! I love it!

At March 8, 2005 at 11:26 AM, Blogger Martyr73 said...

Obnoxipatch - I like it! When you get your couple of cases...could you slide a few my way? I'm sure I could find plenty of people to slap one on. :)

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